7.5 million breaths…

31,536,000 seconds…525,600 minutes…8,760 hours…365 days…52 weeks…12 months…1 whole year of my life without you Daddy.  In some ways it feels like 10 but in others I swear it was just yesterday when you took your voyage to Heaven.  Oh, how I miss your laugh…your silly jokes…your comfort…your prayers…the touch of your hand…your hugs…the kisses you always put right on top of my head.   I still have the videos I took during some of your last weeks here — just to be able to watch your chest rise and fall with each fleeting breath.  I miss you SO MUCH and it kills everything within me each time I re-realize you’re never walking through that door again.  You know “they” (whoever they may be) say the first year is the hardest…is all of this just supposed to magically disappear?  Because somehow I still have the disbelief I had when you took your last breath and the pain is just as sharp and as gut wrenching as that first night I had to go to bed without saying goodnight to you and having your eyes sparkle as you nodded your head, winked, and tried to air kiss around all the tumor.   I don’t miss those horrible tumors but I sure do miss you more than I could ever put into words.  I hope you’re proud of me.  I’m ready anytime you want to talk Him into letting me come!

Love you always and forever!

Your Baby Girl

A verse to one of his favorite hymns…

“To that old rugged cross I will ever be true,

its shame and reproach gladly bear;

then He'll call me some day to my home far away,

where his glory forever I'll share.

So I'll cherish the old rugged cross,

till my trophies at last I lay down;

I will cling to the old rugged cross,

and exchange it some day for a crown.”

…and he has done just that.  Thank you, Jesus, for Heaven!

It’s Been A Doozy…

 Hi friends!

Just a reminder…

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     I had my oral surgery on the 25th of July.  I expected it to be horrible but it turned out to be horrific (which is clearly worse than horrible!).  The pain and agony topped my most painful surgery.  It was the first surgery that narcotics were involved at home.  I woke up from anesthesia to feeling like someone had crushed my face into a brick wall.  I went home majorly under the influence…I was flying high on pain meds! LOL  I don’t remember most things they say I did but apparently it was pretty hilarious.  I was heading in the right direction with healing for the next several days when suddenly my pain took a turn for the worse, I started having disgusting tasting drainage from one of my implants, and started smelling Brussels sprouts (THE worst!!!!).  Yuck!  So I saw my surgeon for my follow-up a day early and it was determined that I have a sinus infection now from him having to go up, cut my sinuses, and put the implants through.  I was started on an IV antibiotic yesterday and I’m hoping it kicks in really soon!  The day after I saw my surgeon, I started having issues with an abutment screw being loose and nearly falling out (it actually fell out yesterday morning right before leaving home).  So yesterday I went back to the Surgeon’s office and the surgical assistant tightened down that screw plus any of the others that were loose.  Those folks out there who have had braces on their teeth will know what the painful soreness of tightening braces feels like…times that by about 1,000 and you’ll have what I’m feeling right now.  It is SO painful because it’s pulling on my skull.  So I am currently 9 days post op and the pain is still a real struggle.  My face looks pretty much back to normal as far as swelling is concerned.  There for a while I looked like someone had beat me up…at one point I could barely see out of my right eye because it was nearly swollen shut.  Please pray that the infection and pain will subside quickly and everything will heal correctly for my next step…TEETH! :)

Thank you to all my prayer warriors out there!  Y’all mean so much to me!

Allison